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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23898883">I wish I had the words to tell you (I love you)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachytrees/pseuds/peachytrees'>peachytrees</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Day6 (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Awkward Crush, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Drunken Confessions, Exams, First Love, Han Jisung | Han &amp; Kang Younghyun | Young K are Siblings, Holding Hands, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Kim Seungmin &amp; Kim Wonpil are Siblings, M/M, Mpreg, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags May Change, Teen Pregnancy, Teen Romance, Unrequited Love, jamie and jae are siblings don't come for me</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:07:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,479</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23898883</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachytrees/pseuds/peachytrees</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>How could something as cute as Jae have ruined Brian's life so easily? He couldn't complain, he now had an excuse to ask Jae to stay.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kang Younghyun | Young K/Park Jaehyung | Jae, Kim Wonpil/Park Sungjin, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm English so this fic is going to be set in an English environment as I don't feel comfortable writing from an American aspect. I'm going to add a small key to explain everything.</p><p>YEAR 11 (age 15 &amp;16): this is the last mandatory year of secondary school, this is the year GCSEs (General Certificate of Secondary Education) are sat this year and the grades received from these exams determined our future employment and education aspects.</p><p>College and Sixth form (16–18): these two years are post-year 11. you can either choose to stay at Secondary school and join the sixth form to do A Levels or you can choose college and choose to do A Levels or a BTEC</p><p>if you want any more information just ask !<br/>also, the effects that stress have on Brian's body reflect my own issues from when I sat my GCSEs</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You look like shit." Jisung announced, seeing Brian slump into the dining room. A swipe to the back of the head was earned by Jisung from their dad's newspaper for swearing.</p><p>"Thanks for the compliment." Brian mumbled with a hint of mirth in response and flopped lifelessly into his seat at the table, before him was a plate piled high with his usual favourite items off the KFC menu, but he just wasn't in the mood for greasy, deep fried chicken from a food establishment that shouldn't have restaurant – not even fast-food restaurant – status.</p><p>He didn't feel hungry, just felt tired and nauseous but he wasn't going to admit that out loud. He had been trying to avoid everyone since he came down with what he assured was just the flu. However, the flu typically didn't last four weeks and the results he was receiving from google weren't making him feel much better about his situation.</p><p>Guilt was tumbling around in Brian's stomach as he looked at the food he had requested and was only making him feel worse, he wanted to return to the safety of his bedroom. His fortress against the fussing and overwhelming presence of his mom just wanted to know he was doing Okay.</p><p>In truth he wasn't Ok, he was in his first year of college, he had one friend (and said friend's very clingy boyfriend), and all he seemed to do was stress over exam after exam.</p><p>These weren't any old exams; these were his End of year progress exams — they decided if he could continue onto the next year of his course or if he had wasted an entire year learning stuff that didn't matter to him.</p><p>Brian contemplated tipping his plate back into the delivery bucket or on to Jisung's plate, but he could feel the glare from his mom bore into the back of his head. She was watching Brian like a hawk; he had been avoiding her for far too long now.</p><p>"What's the matter with you, hmm?" she asked, her voice sweet as honey just above a whisper as she spoke to him, her hand hovered above his shoulder as she decided if she should rest her hand there. "You've been acting strangely for a while now." She pointed out; an emotion Brian couldn't quite describe lingering in his mom's voice. It sounded like concern and disappointment was intermingled. "You would tell me if something was wrong? Right?" Brian just sucked on his teeth in response and rolled his eyes. He wasn't going to tell her something was wrong because if Google was telling the truth there was no doubt, she would be heartbroken.</p><p>Brian left the room in a huff without saying a word, sick of feeling like he was under a microscope all the time.</p><p>He blamed exam stress for his nausea, irritability and poor sleep schedule. This was turning into a monster.</p><p>Brian returned to his sanctuary, his bedroom decorated with Disney’s ’Cars’ stickers and posters of some of his favourite bands – two very different concepts that generally didn't interact. Everything had a home in this space and there was very little mess other than his desk stacked high with revision notes, timetables, class notes and 6-inch-thick textbooks that were too heavy to carry in his rucksack. It was a contrast to how Brian looked with tangled bed head, a stolen hoodie with strange food stains and a pair of pyjama bottoms he was pretty sure also weren't his and probably belonged to Jisung.</p><p>In such a tidy space, it was hard to miss the three rectangle objects resting on Brian's nightstand beside his reading lamp. His stomach dropped when he saw them, he completely forgot to get rid of them and now he would look suspicious if he tried to throw them in the kitchen bin. If he put them in his wastepaper basket they would be found by his mom and his dad would find them if he put them in the bathroom bin.</p><p>He paused in the doorway of his room, taking the opportunity to glance over his shoulder to check no one was upstairs with him. He kicked his door shut in an act of defiance and threw himself onto his bed where he couldn't take his eyes off the object lying discarded on his nightstand. Just lying there, they mocked him. Brian closed his eyes, ignoring what possible truths they could spill about him and thought of earlier that day at the park with Sungjin instead.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <em>"I don't think it's stress," Sungjin pointed his wooden ice lolly stick at Brian as he spoke, using it to punctuate his words, "you need to talk to your mom about it." Brian gulped; he had been avoiding his mom for a reason, in case it wasn't stress that was making him feel sick all the time. Sungjin's tone changed when he saw Brian's expression change, it was a tone Brian had assumed he reserved for when Wonpil was fed up with his little brother, Seungmin, or when he finished a Netflix show. It felt patronising but strangely comforting.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sungjin reached across the picnic table and placed a hand on Brian's wrist as a comforting gesture, he smiled at Brian. "Wonpil and I will help you, you don't have to be afraid of this."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>They stayed that way for a moment, just watching the birds fly overhead and listening to Wonpil scold Seungmin and Jisung for hanging off the monkey bars upside down because the younger kids were trying to copy them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Sungjin was concerned for Brian, he didn't look good with his grey skin and tired eyes. He could see the bags under Brian's eyes he had tried to hide and the ghost of a sleepless night haunting Brian's posture. "I think you might be pregnant," Brian's eyes widened and his jaw hung slack at the audacity of Sungjin's claims, "Seriously! remember Jamie's party a couple weeks ago?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Brian felt sick again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It's definitely stress," he rolled his eyes and laughed, it was hallowed and broken but Sungjin didn't pursue it. Brian had secretly challenged Sungjin, he had to prove him wrong.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Wonpil then appeared, panting from running up the grassy hill where he had been scolding Seungmin and Jisung about their actions. He was sporting a big pout and sluggish walked across the field to where Brian and Sungjin were sitting at the only picnic table on that side of the park.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Take by brother away!" Wonpil whined like a wounded puppy and dramatically sprawled himself across Sungjin's lap for attention, careful not to spill any of this sticky melted Calypso on Sungjin. "Take him home with you please!" Wonpil's eyes were wide and shiny as he begged Brian to keep Seungmin.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Wonpil's innocence was too much for the conversation and it died as Sungjin began to play with his boyfriend's hair. Brian turned away to call out to Jisung, Wonpil and Sungjin made him feel sick even more because they had each other. Brian would be a liar if he didn't admit he was jealous of their 3-year long relationship.</em>
</p>
<hr/><p>There was only one way to prove Sungjin wrong, clear the doubt that had been clouding Brian's mind.</p><p>He held three pregnancy tests before him, all with the same confusing instructions for what the readings meant; one had a blue line displayed on the little digital screen, one had two red strips displayed, while the final test stick had changed from yellow to a dull pink. As confusing as each test was, they all had the same result: positive.</p><p>Brian couldn't breathe. His throat felt like it was tightening, his whole world seemed to crumble around him as he gasped for a sense of normality or an inclination he was hallucinating. But there was nothing.</p><p>Brian tucked the tests under his pillow and pulled his knees up to his chest in the hope of finding some comfort.</p><p>The tears were falling down his cheeks before he could stop them, he choked on a half sob and he shoved a knuckle in his mouth to stifle his cries as he tried to make sense of what was happening. He was sixteen, he wasn't ready for this commitment and he certainly couldn't tell his mom or dad: disappointment would hurt him too much.</p><p>A warm wet patch had begun to form by his head when there was a loud tap on his door and Jisung walked in uninvited, "I have a date, I'm borrowing thi–" he stopped when he saw his older brother in such a state, he had never seen Brian so broken?</p><p>"Brian?” His usual loud, goofy attitude of a carefree high school student was replaced by a concerned younger brother, "Is it your exams?" Jisung thought back to the year earlier when Brian had been sitting his GCSEs — he had been a mess; he would lock himself away in his bedroom for hours and cram as much information in his head as he could. Brian would eventually appear from his room to shower so he could cry somewhere no one would hear him but Jisung knew; he could hear him through his bedroom wall. Jisung assumed it was one of those moments where Brian broke.</p><p>Brian just nodded, hoping to get rid of Jisung sooner. "Do you want anything?" he asked cautiously, Brian just shook his head and wiped his tears away, "I'm fine Jisungie." he even forced a smile to convince himself.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry, it took so long to post this second chapter but I finally have my laptop fixed so I won't have to post with my phone.<br/>hopefully, this chapter will be longer and more entertaining than the introductory chapter<br/>much love, peach</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Brian...?" The line was almost silent, except for the occasional hiccups and dry sobs that broke the surreal atmosphere that had settled over Sungjin and Brian. Sungjin could hear what sounded like Brian sniffling with his phone pressed to his ear and wiping at what Sungjin imagined were very red, sore eyes. Brian's eyes strung from the soaked sleeve of his hoodie cleaning away tears and Sungjin could hear him hissing and flinch from the horrible sensation running down his spine. "Brian," Sungjin's voice urged for a response from Brian, who was more focused on silencing his sobs, "what's wrong? This isn't like you." Sungjin was added tenderly.</p><p>Brian's call had come unexpectedly.</p><p>Sungjin had been finishing the scraps of bacon left on his plate from the breakfast — Wonpil had turned up with unexpectedly having been let into the house by Sungjin's mom with the offer to cook breakfast for everyone as a weekend treat — when he noticed Brian's contact photo begin to flash on his phone screen accompanied by his ring tone (Parklife by Blur because he wanted to be different in Year 9 and just never changed the song). Brian had a habit of not calling anyone, not even his mom, so Sungjin knew there was a fundamental problem for Brian to A) be awake before 1 pm on a Saturday and B) be phoning him instead of texting him and adding one of those cute but annoying singing stickers at the end.</p><p>Initially, Sungjin had assumed it was a prank call from Jisung who might have stolen Brian's phone and figured out how to unlock it, then he thought he might have been pocket dialled since no one said anything when he answered. It was just as he was about to hang up that he heard Brian trying to hide the sounds of his dry sobs and compose himself to speak.</p><p>The prank call idea had been shot from the sky as soon as it had taken flight when he heard how desperate Brian sounded over half-choked sobs and constantly sniffing.</p><p>"I don't know - I don't know what to do," Brian whispered, his voice hoarse.</p><p>Much like the rest of him, his voice also shook uncontrollably; highlighting how desperate he was for someone to save him from the nightmare he was living in.</p><p>All he had done was shake uncontrollably since he read the results on the pregnancy tests yesterday. When his mom had demanded answers as to why he was shaking on the way to breakfast that morning he blurted out some unbelievable excuse about being sick and locked himself in the bathroom.</p><p>He had been there an hour now under the pretence of taking a shower, but it wasn't happening, his stomach was in knots and movement made the dizziness worse and sobbing into his hoodie sleeve wasn't helping matters, like, <em>morning sickness</em>.</p><p>Sungjin sucked his teeth and clicked his tongue, "Brian," he was using a stern tone to keep Brian's attention, much like one a teacher would use my scolding a class of six-year-olds for being too loud. "I can't help you until you tell me what's happened." Sungjin's voice began to rise in frustration.</p><p>Tears began to well in Brian's eyes again — he felt like a failure and Sungjin was <em>shouting</em> at him — they began to fall down his cheeks in a cascade of salty, hot, thick droplets he quickly wiped on his sleeve.</p><p>"I'm coming over." Sungjin hung up before Brian could even fathom a protest.</p><p>The perks of living on the same street as your only friend was that in a matter of minutes Brian could hear the distant voice of Sungjin sweet-talking his mom. Brian could just imagine what was happening down there; his mom would be fussing over Sungjin, trying to encourage him to join the family for breakfast and wait at the dining table for him to come down and Sungjin would be waving her off and would include a small compliment about how her food is amazing but he wasn't hungry.</p><p>And then he heard <em>Wonpil's</em> voice.</p><p>Brian closed his eyes and tried not to think about anything anymore, he just wanted to sleep. He screwed his face up as much as possible and tried to ignore the sound of Wonpil running up the stairs. Don't misunderstand the situation: Brian adored Wonpil as much as everyone else did, he was always so bright and happy, but he was loose-lipped and friends with just about <em>everyone.</em></p><p>And Brian didn't want anyone to know, not even Sungjin but he had no one else.</p><p>There was a soft rap on the door, the signature sound of Sungjin knocking on the door closely followed by Wonpil's over-enthusiastic shouts for Brian to unlock the door.</p><p>"Brian~" Wonpil sang, his voice nothing short of angelic. It could be heard that the youngest member of the trio was shifting from foot to foot to occupy himself while Brian hiccupped himself into a more acceptable appearance.</p><p>"You look like shit." The echoes of Jisung's comment from yesterday floated in the air but it was Sungjin who had spoken to them this time. He was standing opposite Brian who had unlocked the bathroom door and using the doorframe as a support to keep him from sinking back onto the floor in a bumbling and exhausted mess. He hadn't slept at all last night.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>quarantine and a lack of desire to do my college work means i have a lot of free time rn so hopefully i will have consistent uploads with this fic unlike all my other half finished ones from 2018</p><p> </p><p>update from the future: i lied, i’m really bad a posting new updates and nearly discontinued this fic after only one chapter like all my others but i came back and i have new motivations to write (i think)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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